YET AGAIN...


OK. So work has been crazy. The Holidays have got me crazy. All the travel that I am having to do...You guessed it. HAS ME CRAZY!!!
So, I booked another massage. I know, I know...You just a massage. But last time was for fun, this time it was needed. Wouldn't you know it. Things "sprung to life" again. I didn't have time before to masturbate so I walked into the session already anticipating things. And I wasn't disappointed! There I was lying on the heated table with a paper thin sheet covering my business and BOOM! The dick is in the air. I got embarrassed again. I even think I might have sprung a leak...OMG! I can not believe I am handing over all this information. If its TMI...Get over it. This is my blog and that is that.
Good Night everyone. I must go and take care if business. The its time to take care of that "leak"...
Until Next Time...

WHAT A DAY!!!


Will someone please tell me why is it that when you wake up in the morning. Bright eyed and bushy tailed! Ready to take on the world! Why does it come and crap all over you? Just a question...LOL!!!
I awoke this morning, sleepy but in a great mood. Got to work EARLY. Ate my breakfast, drank my coffee. Then the S#@& hit the fan. I was informed that my large window instillation that I just completed...Will be changed in 2 weeks to highlight newer product (resort wear). I mean this window was labor intensive. Wallpaper, Velvet curtains. Snow. Logs. Christmas trees. The works! (FYI...For those who do not know, I am a visual manager for a famous men's retailer)
Anyway. I called my boss and asked if the new windows could be delayed until after Christmas? She said, flat out...NO!!! I was like, "Why Not?" She said it was my job to follow corporate directive and that I could work some where else if I didn't want to do it. Let me state this first. I am at the #6 store in the company. My store carries the district. I know that I am replaceable, everyone is, I felt very unsupported. My boss telling me "someone else can come and do your job if you don't want to"...UUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

I have to stop talking about it. I am still angry! This post is getting me more mad so I need to stop. I will just say that I am employed. I still love my job. My superiors still love me and the work that I do.
Today was a day that started wonderfully and went down hill rather quickly!
Tomorrow is a new day. Its all good I suppose.
Until Next Time...

QUOTE OF THE WEEK...

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"
I am going to make an effort to really live this this week. I challenge you all to do the same.
Until Next Time...

SEXUAL FRUSTRATION...


Ok. Its official. I have hit an all time high on the S.F. scale. It is getting crazy. I was out with my boss today after work. We had a couple of cocktails and there was a guy at the bar...Very handsome...I wanted to take him over the bar. It didn't help that he was looking our direction. Of course He could have been looking at my boss, she is very attractive. Anyway. The mix of alcohol and handsome, manly man has left me HORNY AS HELL!!! I realize I write about sex a lot, its because I am not getting any. I had to kick my "friends w/benefits" to the curb because he got himself a girlfriend. Since she didn't know about me and his gayness I just felt the need to end it all. It was the right thing to do. Of course that has left me with no sexual outlet...And its starting to piss me off.
Maybe I should re-evaluate. Rethink my priorities. Its just hard to do that when you are incredibly horny and all you want to do is get laid.

Maybe I will get a good book and go read. I am to tired to hit the bars, work today was hell! So, I will let all of you go for now. I am off to Borders to get a book and maybe I might find me a guy while I am there...LOL!
Until Next Time...

ME...


I don't want to sound narsastic...Really I don't...But I am grateful for me. I have had to overcome many adversities in life and I have managed to remain level-headed about it all. I am thankful for all the hardships that have made me to the man I am today.
Yes, I am giving thanks for many other things tomorrow besides myself. I have wonderful friends, life wouldn't be the same with out them. I have my health. I have a great job I love. I have a beautiful family. Most importantly I have my faith that keeps me grounded and incredibly humble.

Thanks will be given for all the many blessings in my life.
Until Next Time...

ps...This post is meant with the purest of hearts. I don't think that I am all of that and I realize my faults. I was talking more of the inner, spiritual side of "ME" when I was posting this.

IMAGINATION...



I know that imagination is a unusual thing to be grateful for...But I am. Imagination has allowed me to do my job well. It along with artistic creativity has given me solutions for problems that occur and has given me much job satisfaction. And Job Satisfaction, now days, is something to be really grateful for.

I also love that I have a very active imagination because it allows me to have the most mind blowing sex! Did I get your attention? Good. I mean that statement, just not the way it seems. I am currently single, its not a bad thing, just when it comes to sex...Its me and the right hand (sometimes the Left one too). Is that too much information for ya? Well, get over it! Just kidding. But the imagination that plays into my sex life (all be it in my head) is truly spectacular. Who knew that the body could bend in so many ways! I have to tell you...My future partner better have a good to great sex drive because I have some wild and crazy things that I am ready to try out! You think I am kidding don't you?!?!? Well IM not!!!

So hear is a toast to IMAGINATION! May it be something that we never take for granted and let it be a trait that we cherish.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Until Next Time...

CHICAGO!


Yes, I have been in Chicago for the last 8 days! I was there for work and I have to tell you...I love that city. It was freezing cold for this southern boy but I did love it. Of course the vain side of me hates all of the layers because you can end up looking about the size of a small house...LOL!

Anyway
It was a great deal of work, nearly 70 hours to be exact. But, I was with friends from all over the country and that is always nice.
It is weird to come back though and the Holiday season is here. It is very weird to be seeing Christmas commercials already. UUGGHHHHH!!! I swear this time of year comes faster and faster every year. And, every year I tell myself that this year will be different. I will have all of my "ducks in a row" as my brother used to say. Of course, everything is in order...there are just certain things in life that would be nice to have. I would really like to have a man to share my life with. I know that it wouldnt complete me...I feel complete already. It would be nice to have that special someone to come home to after a long day and just snuggle on the couch on cold nights like tonight. Please dont mis-understand...I am very blessed. I have a wonderful life and I have very little to complain about. I am very grateful for everything that I have and I am trying to spend this week giving "Thanks" for the many blessings.

So, be prepared...the next couple of post will be about me giving thanks for the things and people in my life.

Have a great week everyone.
Until Next Time...

TRUE CONFESSIONS


OK. I realize that I am a grown man. My age is 35. But I have a confession that will make me seem like I am a 7 year old boy...LOL!!!
I am terrified of Lightening and Thunder! Yes, it is pouring down rain here and I am scared to death. I don't know what to do with myself. I though if I posted something that it might help. Of course I have had a couple of cocktails and that isn't hurting either!
I have always been scared of it and it's times like this that make me really want a MAN around. Someone that I can curl up with in bed and hide my face in their chest when the lightening crashes and the thunder claps!
Actually when you put a sexual turn on it...it doesn't seem like a bad idea! A Hot guy lying in my bed telling me to come join him. Telling me that He will take care of me and make everything Ok! YUM!!! That sounds pretty HOT! OF course, that isn't the way life is right now and I guess I will have to suck it up. Be a man. Tough out the storm! If only it were that easy.

I guess for the time being I will just have to get into bed, pull up the covers, and hide my face in the pillows until the storm passes!!!

It really is times like this that I wish I had a man...
Until Next Time...

MY MUSIC FOR THE WEEK...


OK, I dont normally suggest music for people to listen to. That is such a unique thing for everyone. But, Jeff Buckley is a guy that I have been listening to lately. The power and emotion in his voice is beautiful and tragic all at the same time. If you have never heard him...please check him out. I posted the lyrics to his songs "Last Goodbye"..."So Real". Amazing! Just check him out and let me know what you think.

"SO REAL"

Love, let me sleep tonight on you couch
And remember the smell of the fabric
Of your simple city dress

Oh... that was so real

We walked around til the moon got full like a plate
The wind blew an invocation and I fell asleep at the gate
And I never stepped on the cracks cause I thought Id hurt my mother
And I couldnt awake from the nightmare that sucked me in and pulled me under
Pulled me under

Oh... that was so real

I love you, but Im afraid to love you
I love you, but Im afraid to love you


"Last Goodbye"

This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it's over
Just hear this and then i'll go
You gave me more to live for
More than you'll ever know

This is our last embrace
Must I dream and always see your face
Why can't we overcome this wall
Well, maybe it's just because i didn't know you at all

Kiss me, please kiss me
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation
You know it makes me so angry 'cause i know that in time
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye

Did you say 'no, this can't happen to me,'
And did you rush to the phone to call
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind
Saying maybe you didn't know him at all
You didn't know him at all, oh, you didn't know

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime



Well, I didnt have much to post about today. Well actually I did, just didnt feel like doing it. Tell you about it tomorrow.
Until Next Time...

REGRET...


Well, I had a golden opportunity today to "take the bull by the horns" so to speak, and I chickened out. I am very disappointed in myself. Actually, truth be told, I had two chances today but missed them both.

Lets start with the least important one...The guy from Friday. I had to goto the market on Friday for fresh flowers for an event we were having at work. Well, while I was at the market I had noticed an attractive guy to my left in a doctors coat. He was very cute and a little younger than me...I guess. As it turns out, I guess he thought I was attractive too because He started to cruise me in line. I am always amazed when guys cruise me...Not sure why, just am. Don't get me wrong, I am an attractive guy. Pretty handsome, if I do say so myself (FYI. I am laughing as I type this). Anyway. The guy ended up leaving and I thought that was the end of that. Well...I saw him again today! Same coat and he was walking in front of the window that I was changing out. He all but stopped to look at me and his friend called his name and it snapped him back to reality. What sealed the deal was that he stopped at the front doors to look for me and he smiled and walked away when our eyes met again. Now. If I was smart I would have walked out the door and introduced myself or, at the very least, walked and stood behind the counter where he would have seen me and maybe walked in himself. Opportunity...GONE!!! Not the end of the world. But disappointing, none the less!

The second chance that I missed today...Which was far more regretful was with Roy. Roy is a guy that I knew before I came out of the closet 7 years ago. I had the biggest crush on him and my manhood would often just spring to life when he entered the room. Of course, it would be nice if I gave you the complete story on Roy...He was my Music Minister at the church I had been attending. He always had a way about him that just made me weak. Of course when I came out...Changed churches...My time admiring Roy came to an end. Well not to be a "gossippy-hen"...There has been rumors that Roy actually was fired from the church because He was hiding a secrete. That of him being gay. YES! I know its all hear-say. But the source was very reliable and I do not doubt the validity of the story. OK...Back to the present! I saw Roy today! In line at Starbucks!!! I got an erection just at the sight of Him. He is very handsome and I can not believe that I...Yes, I just kept on walking. Didn't even say Hello! In my mind I had rationalized it by saying that it had been over 5 years since our last conversation. But I realize now that THAT is a POOR EXCUSE!!! He looked soooooo good. His blond hair had darkened and it was becoming grey at the temples. Very sexy! He was also sporting a goatee. Even more sexy. Even as I type this my heart is racing and there is a stirring in my boxers!
Well, I have never been so mad at myself. I let this chance pass me by. Granted (rationalization) he WAS with someone. Some older lady...NOT his wife! Good grief! I am sounding like a school girl! I just had to get this off my chest. It was a very dismal day today. My doctor coat boy and the crush of all crushes, ROY, came into my life today and I let them go...OOOHHHHHHH the shame!

Until Next Time...

AFTERNOONS...


OK, it's Sunday afternoon, the rain is falling and I feel a little blue. I have been cleaning up around here and I ran across some old photo's and cards. I guess whats sad about it all is that most of the cards brought back a flood of memories, not all of them good. They are from a time long ago and are from friends that have "wrote me off" because I was gay. I wouldnt change anything about the journey I have been on or the path that my life has taken...its just hard sometimes to face the fact that some people cannot accept you as you are. It is really sad to think of the good times that we had. All of the bonding. Fights. Laughs Cries. Its just sad. I thought that my friends and I would be close for ever. WE shared so much with one another and I guess it was just too much for them to handle. I dont usually go down "memory lane" but it just sorta happened. I will put the cards in a box and store them away. I should just throw them out...but I want to keep them. They remind me of the past and what a diffrent person I was. A man that was hiding. Lying to myself. Weak and vulnerable.
I have made major strides to embrace the man I have become. I feel complete and strong. I stand on my own and my head is held high.
Not sure why I felt like posting about this...its just where I am today, mentally speaking.
So, here is a toast to the PAST...PRESENT...and most of all, THE FUTURE!
CHEERS!!!
Until Next Time...

RELAXATION


Ok. So life, for me, has been a bit of a rollercoaster lately. No ones falt...Just life. I thought that it would be good to treat myself to a massage. I was correct. It was "good times" and I just wanted to share some of the things that happened that...Well...Almost made me laugh out of embarrassing.
First of all...The therapist's name is Ryan. He is really cute and has a very gentle spirit about him. Puts you at easy. Well, yours truly decided to scarf down some dinner before I went to the appointment. BIG MISTAKE!!! I felt like I was going to break wind at any moment. Do you realize how hard it is to keep your cheeks closed when someone is massaging your ass! Well, I think I turned a quarter into 2 dimes and a nickel. What made it worse is he used his whole fore arm to go over each cheek...ooohhhhh the pressure! I kept thinking I will never be able to come back to this guy. I am about to FART right in his face!!! It was not good. Well, I finally collected myself. Relaxed again and the gas subsided. Thank goodness. Now, onto the next part...
Let me say this...I am very modest. Way to body conscious. I am by now means fat. But somewhere in my mind I cannot let go of the "old fat me". It is a problem and I should goto therapy...But that's for another post.
Well, Ryan is working my thighs and legs. I am laying there Buttass naked and only a thin sheet covering my bits and pieces...Well decides to "come to life" right there on the table? Yes, James and the giant peaches!!! I swear. I have never been so beside myself. So I take the adult approach and rational and convince myself that "he has seen this before and its not a big deal." Well, it didn't work. I guess I should say that my inner thigh, for me, is like a start button when it comes to sex. I am 0 to 60 in no time when you start rubbing my inner thigh. Well, He kept at it and things rose to the occasion. Of course it didn't help that he kept brushing the "boys" in his upstrokes! I think, horror of all horrors, I might have even started to spring a leak! YIKES!!! With only this paper thin sheet to cover with. It looked like I was at a Boy Scout camp-out! Uuuggghhhhhh!
Oh well. I did, obviously, enjoy myself. AND I will go back to Ryan again. I think the next time I might just "take care of business" before I go though!
Ok, well, I have talked about nearly farting and getting an erection all in the space of a paragraph. It is time to go!
Until Next Time...