HNT...HERE YOU GO!


Ok. SO I have told myself this was MY year. The year I would "Live Life", nothing crazy or dangerous. Just come out of my box. So I thought I would just show you all my BOX...LOL!
Seriously, I want to be more proud of me. Take a stand, for Me. Not let life run me over...Pass me by. None of that. "So-n-So" put a damper on things. But no more. I can not answer for His actions. I can only do what's right for Me and move on. And I am!
So, in honor of HNT I have decided to post a PG-13 photo. Yes I know that some will think its lame; for Me though, in my mind its just enough!
So...Here you go. This is probably the only time I participate in this so enjoy!


Until Next Time...

AAHHH, LOVE!


It is pretty dificult to not be thinking about Love at this time of year. I still have a little hurt goin' on with "So-n-So" just vanishing. I am sure its for the best...something better is on the way. Right?!?!?
I guess I will get back to my old self soon enough. I was starting to fall for the guy though...Oh well. Life does go on. I hate the word "crush" but thats what I had and I guess the word is living up to its Definition.
I have to be honest though, I was hoping that this Valentine's day I would actually have a Valentine. Get something from a man I was dating. You know what I mean? Gettin a card from your Mom just isnt the same...LOL!
I am actually doing pretty good with the whole situation. I know others are out there. I am not a looser. I still have alot to offer someone. Its just when it all goes down like this you really start to doubt yourself. You true self. And that is the worst part of it all.
So. Like in years past. I will get a movie. By my Godiava Chocolate Strawberries. Sit on the couch. Ask one of my single girlfriends over (I dont want a man over because I want to be able to bash men)and just have a good time.

Life is good. Hope is coming back. Things are turning around. The future is looking promising again.

Until Next Time...


BTW...I do not go around sounding like this all day. Its just at night that my feelings and emotions seem to be more acute.

DEAR SO-N-SO...


I wanted to take some time to write you and let you know that I appreciated the time we spent together. It was good getting to know you and I had a great deal of fun on our dates. Yes, we were completely different but I thought that was a balance; Something that would make a good relationship. I also realize that we were in completely two different tax brackets, but I never asked you to pay for a thing. In fact I often paid for the both of us. You were a nice guy that was very quiet at times, BTW, that makes me nervous and I tend to not talk then...Just so you know. I thought you had the prettiest eyes. The color was rich and beautiful. I could have gotten lost in those eyes.
I have just one question for you though...What the hell happened? Why did you feel it was ok to just disappear? Like we never even met. Even if you found someone else, and things really clicked, grow a set and tell me about it. This silent treatment is really immature...I expected more from you due to the fact that your last partner of 7 yrs acted immaturely as well. It was the reason you broke up if I recall.
Well let me just tell you this...I am mad as hell right now. No actually, hurt, would be a better word to use. I thought we had something pretty good going on. I guess I was wrong.
I will take the high road. When I see you out and about town, I will smile. Nod. Maybe even wave. My head will be held high. My mind will be thinking how sad I am for you. You, my dear man, let a good thing go. It is your lose and I hope that the way you ended things so abruptly with me never happens to you. Because, just so you know, it sucks to treat someone with so little respect.
Have a nice life, so-n-so and I wish you well.
Jim

ps. This is what's on my mind right now. It is a letter to the guy that felt the need to end things between us w/o even letting me know. Yes, I could call him one more time to say WTF...But a guy has to keep a bit of his pride intact.

QUESTION...


I just wanted to ask a question to the readers out there...
I look at several blogs on the internet, some I comment on others I don't; But over half of them participate in HNT (half naked Thursday). In an effort to come out of my shell a little...What do you think about posting pic's of one's self partially clothed? Is it a good thing? Smart? Reckless? Just wanted some feedback.

Have a great weekend everyone.
Until Next Time...

HOPE?


I have a question...
What do you do to get your "hope" back? I realized before I started this post that my last couple of ones have been a little on the depressing/down side. So I wanted to post about something that was more cheerful and positive. So I was thinking about the things that are missing in my life and I came up with...Hope.
Yes, yours truly has been through the ringer lately. I am bored with my job. My family seems to be distant(not really, just in my mind). And "the guy" that I was seeing just fell off the face of the earth. Yes, just fell off!
Mind you, I am generally a very hopeful person. Even in the darkest of times I can always hold on to my hope because that is what gets you through. Well, today it seems to be diminishing.
Damn, I was going to be positive...Sure sounds like it, doesn't it? LOL!!!
Lets see. Things that I know bring me Hope. Well, Life brings me hope. Just when you think things couldn't get any worse...Something truly amazing happens and it restores your sense of self. Sunshine brings Hope...It has rained the last 11 days here in Houston and I thought I was late this morning because it was so bright out. It turns out that it was just the sunrise. LOL!!! Its great to see the sun again. Friends bring Hope...I do cherish my friends. They are incredible and I am blessed to have them. They are amazing. If they had any clue that I was going through a rough patch they would be over to take me to dinner and cheer me up in a heart beat (I am very private, BTW). My love for Art brings me Hope...When I see an amazing painting or exhibit...It makes my creative juices flow and I start to think all things are possible. God brings me Hope too...I haven't done a devotion or meditated in a while. I need to get myself centered. Recharged. I also believe in Love...Not so much right now...But, yes. Love brings me Hope. It makes me feel alive. It challenges me. I step out of my comfort zone when in love and I learn more about myself.

So. Tonight, my friends are getting together for cocktails. Tomorrow, I am going to the Museum of Modern Art. And, Saturday night I am going to the country/western bar (NO, I am not into C/W music...Hot men go there). Sunday is brunch. So yes, things are on the up and up. Life is good (sorta). I am single with the whole world to see.

I HOPE everyone has a great weekend. DO something for yourselves. Enjoy Life!
Until Next Time...

JUST SO YOU KNOW...




This is my state of mind. I do love this picture, it was taken on my trip to Cancun. The colors are beautiful. Sharp and contrasting. Of course, as some of you know...I HATE STORMS! So you can imagine the frame of mind I was in when this brief but heavy storm rolled through on our last day of the vacation.
Until Next Time...

IS IT FRIDAY???


I think, not completely sure, but this might be the L O N G E S T week ever! I guess I might be in a slump. Work is usually my saving grace when life gets a little routine, the problem is that WORK has become routine. I normally don't complain that much...(stop laughing)...But I need to spice things up in my life. I need some new challenges. I guess what I am trying to say is with work in the tubes...Love life at a stand still...I just need some zap to happen. I am starting to feel boring. I Hate Boring!
I think back on my life over the past few years and I would have given anything for "stuff" to just slow down and let me catch up. Well...I have caught up. Time for a new adventure. Can anybody relate?
Maybe the weather is to blame. It has rained for the last 8 days here and I am starting to feel like Noah. Its cold. Windy. Combine all of those together...You just don't feel like getting out and grabbing life by the balls (or just a set of balls...LOL).
Anyway. Not much going on.
OH! WAIT!!! Work is going to suck the rest of the week. My two bosses are coming to town tomorrow. One of them is crazier than catshit on a stick! She is the pain in my ass. I think that I am going to take some valium to work tomorrow in case she starts to get on my nerves.
OK...Now that I got myself all wound up...I am going to let you guys go. Make me a cocktail and watch the rest of my movie (the Lake House). I started it today at lunch. So far its interesting. I do love me some Keanu Reeves.
Until Next Time...

FLIRTATION...


Ok. Work. I don't really know how to begin this post with out sounding crazy...Or should I say Full of myself.
Today, at work, we had a trainer come in to teach the employee's about a program that we offer. When I was coming back from a break the "John" (the trainer) was sitting at one of our desk and he gave me the up-down. I felt like I was out on a Friday night in a gay bar. I swear...I felt like he was taking my clothes off! John is an attractive guy...BWTF!!! I know men will be men, but seriously. I found out that he does have a partner. Of 10 years to be exact. I just don't get it. I would be working in the other side of the store and feel someone looking at me. YEP, there he was in the mirror talking to people but looking at me in the reflection. He saw me looking back and smiled. Don't get me wrong, I am flattered. Its just a little weird because this is someone (if I saw him on the street)I would date. He is attractive. Nice smile. Handsome.
I know I should be thinking about all of this...It could get me into trouble. Let me just say this: I WOULD NEVER DATE OR SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER! I have had offers. Which always makes for an interesting couple of days afterwards.

I guess that is enough about that. I hope everyone is having a good week and is gearing up for the weekend.
Until Next Time...

ABOUT YESTERDAYS POST...


I forgot to give some background to what, or should I say why I am feeling the way that I am about "the Guy". It might make more sense if you knew the whole story...
When I first came out, I had this huge crush on this guy, we will call him "Tom". At the time he was my best friend and we did everything together. Well, nearly everything. Tom was amazing and I didn't think it was possible for 2 guys to be more emotionally intimate than He and I were. We shared everything: fears, hopes, dreams, desires...You name it. We used to sit on His couch at night and just talk. Talk. Talk. We often cried with one another over frustrations we were having in life and how many things seemed hopeless. We were each others "rock"...What a friend should be right?!? Well, he also threw any a bit of flirting too, and I waited for the day for things to naturally happen. Cut to 2 years later..."Jim, I have something to tell you. I have started to date someone and it is getting pretty serious." Can you say, SHOCKED!!! Here I am thinking that things were about to happen with us and He goes off and finds another guy. It was devastating.
Tom and I are still friends. He and his now partner have been together this whole time. I am happy for him, for them both actually. I used to not be, but I am now.
Of course the whole experience has left me a little gun shy so to speak. All the guys that I have dated in the past seem to want only one thing form me...My Ass! I do have to say, its a nice one...LOL!!! But I am more than a slab of meat. Most of the guys in the past thought that a nice dinner + good conversation = SEX. That's not how I want things. I know that it sounds old fashioned, maybe I am, but I want to "make Love" with a man. I can have sex with anyone; even though I am horny 24/7 I would rather feel that connection. Make sense?
Well, back to Mr Current...He seems to be on the slow track like myself. Which should make me happy, right? Well. Its not. I get all of these feelings from the past come back and I think, any day now, He is going to tell me that there is someone else and I would have let my heart get all involved in something that, yet again, didn't work out.
Yes, I know that that is what love is all about. Taking risks. Chances. I understand that.
I just don't want to get hurt again like the way "Tom" hurt me.
I will keep you guys posted.
Until Next Time...

SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE...


Yes, its true, I have little to no patience. Well, that might not be entirely true...I lack patience in certain areas of my life. And let me tell you, when I hit the wall...I HIT THE WALL!!!
It seems that my love life is one of the areas that I can certainly use more patience! I often times get worked up because the guy I am seeing doesn't call me like I think he should and it really pisses me off. I start to second guess everything. You know like "Does he like me? What's he thinking? Is this moving in the right direction?" You know the stuff that gets to us single people from time to time. I, get these things in my mind and I start to doubt things about me. I should be happy that the guy wants to take things slow. I should appreciate the fact that its not totally about sex with him. I should be understanding that the guys owns his own business and has a full time job. I really just need to adjust my attitude and realize that everything 24/7 is NOT about me! I need to stop living in the future. Take my head out of the past and just learn to live in the "here and now". One day I will get the fact that Slow and Steady wins the race!
Until Next Time...

UNDERWEAR!!!


Yes, I am one of those guys that love a nice pair of underwear! I love the way that it outlines the man's body and shows what He's packing. I love it when a nice pair is fitting snuggley and you can see everything. I would almost, I SAID ALMOST, rather see pics like this instead of full frontal! Of course I wouldnt complain about having to see either!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Until Next Time...

WHAT A DAY! WHAT A DAY!!


Let me start by saying that I have worked the last 3 1/2 weeks with only 3 days off! I AM TIRED! I cant even begin to tell you what I am like when I AM TIRED!!! Can anyone say...BIOTCH?!?! Well don't all of you yell at once! I am not deaf!!!
It has been a very challenging several weeks.
Not only is work about to push me over the edge, but so is the guy I am dating. He's wanting to take things slow. Which I like...But DAMN. He's HOT and I am Horny!!! LOL!!! I guess the saying "good things come to those who wait" will need to be used in this situation. I am patient. Not much choice, I guess. I actually like the fact that we haven't gone crazy yet. There is a great deal of chemistry between the two of us and things are going in the right direction. I actually called Him last night to set up a date. I told him I wanted to take him out on the town...He called me tonight..."I don't want to go to dinner tomorrow night. I want to wait till Friday or Saturday so that I can spend as much time together with out having to worry about getting home early enough to get some sleep, before work. I liked his thinking and we set a date for Friday. Of course I told him I didn't want to wait till then to see him again and we are going to meet for coffee & desert tomorrow night. YIPEE! I am excited. I hope he swings by to pick me up. I love riding in the car with Him because he loves to hold my hand when he drives. This of course makes me feel all those warm and fuzzy thoughts. I guess I have become a school girl and I blush at the thought of him...LOL!

I am going off to bed now. Not because I am HOT AND BOTHERED talking about him. I told you guys that I am tired! LOL!!!

Have a great week.
UNTIL NEXT TIME...

GLAD TO BE HOME!!!


Boy, I tell ya! There is something about coming home after a really long week of work in another city. The week following Christmas until January 2, I have been in the great city of Dallas. I do love the city, but usually I am there with friends and not co-workers. Don't get me wrong, I have some amazing friends with work. Great people actually. Its just that being away on a Holiday, away from family and friends is not something that is easy to do. I am a really independent person but I realized over the week that I need to be near my family and friends during a Holiday like Christmas and New Years. I don't necessarily have to see them everyday, but it would be nice to be in the same city.
It was also tough to be away with out my own car. Like I said, I love my independence...Me + No Car=Very Un-happy!!! I've always known that I was a stubborn son of a gun, but put me in a hotel that is a little on the crappy side and take away my car...Well, lets just say I wasn't in the best of moods!
To top everything off...My crazy boss was in full swing! She recently quit smoking and boy was she a royal bitch! She and I went around 'n round several times and I am really rethinking my career. I had asked her since we finished 2, yes 2 days early if I could fly home and be with my family and friends early too! She got this crazed look in her eyes and started saying things like..."No way, we have things to do. What makes you think that you are so special!" Nice right? Well, the things that we had to do for the next 2 days was a complete joke! I stood around for nearly 5 hours straightening a stack of chinos. Then I got to help organize some signs that took me close to 30minutes to do! The longer I stood there the madder I got! These projects could have easily been passed off to the store team which would have allowed all of us to go home early.
I am real glad to be HOME!!!
Did I mention that on New Years Eve I made out with one of my co-workers from corporate? Yes, yours truly had way to much to drink that night...And well...When the clock struck 12 midnight the 2 of us just went at it! Nice. I felt like a moron! Not to mention the "drunk dialing" that took place that night also. The guy I just started dating was the recipient of one of these calls. It was around 1:30 am and unfortunately he was asleep. Another great moment! He called me the next day and we laughed about it, but I just felt stupid.
Oh well. Life goes on. Did I mention that "I am glad to be home?"
Until Next Time...