MADE IT!!!
Ok, I know that we have all gone out...Started having a great time...Drinking, drinking, and yet more drinking. Well, that was my night last night. I went out with my boss/friend and got a little to carried away. We had both just wanted to unwind, have a drink or two, good conversation...BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! None of this happened. Well, we did drink. But it was more like 6 or 7 cosmopolitan's. And we did have good conversation...It was just with all kinds of strange people and we were not at a "gay bar"...Ha-Ha!!!
I say all of this to give you an idea of the morning I had today. I should have know last night at around 1:30 when I was trying to watch Golden Girls and I would see 1 Dorothy on the TV screen, and then 2 Dorothy's that today was going to be rough. Live and learn right. Lets just say that today was the LONGEST day! And the thought of a Grey Goose makes me want to RALPH!!!
Its all good though. It is the weekend and this has been one long/strange week. I am really looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend and I hope that it doesn't rain cause I need to get some sun. CANCUN is getting closer! Can you say VACATION!!! I think you can!!!
Until Next Time...
Friday, September 15, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
FUNK...Over?
Ok, I know why I have been in a funk. It is all of the coverage about 9/11. Its such a sad part of our history that is always going to be current. Does that make sense? I mean, it is something that changed all of our lives in some way or another and we will never be the same. I don't think that is a bad thing. We should be more aware of our surroundings.
Its these times, however, that I don't reflect on the Terrorist...Its more about the families that where changed forever. I have lost a brother tragically and know how much it changes your life. I suppose that this time (9/11) just brings up all of those feelings about it. Sad really that neither I nor them asked for this to happen to them. And death is something that will change you forever. Especially if it is someone close to you.
So I guess that is why I have been in a funk lately. I can see the silver lining in the clouds and know that this is just a temporary thing.
Life is good and I have a great deal to be thankful for. I am going to put forth an effort to "connect" with my younger brother. We have always been really close. Here lately, however, He and I have drifted apart a bit. I think its time we become close again. When I came "out" I pushed him away out of fear of judgment. Not right on my part but I am looking forward to getting things back to the way they should be.
Until Next Time...
Ok, I know why I have been in a funk. It is all of the coverage about 9/11. Its such a sad part of our history that is always going to be current. Does that make sense? I mean, it is something that changed all of our lives in some way or another and we will never be the same. I don't think that is a bad thing. We should be more aware of our surroundings.
Its these times, however, that I don't reflect on the Terrorist...Its more about the families that where changed forever. I have lost a brother tragically and know how much it changes your life. I suppose that this time (9/11) just brings up all of those feelings about it. Sad really that neither I nor them asked for this to happen to them. And death is something that will change you forever. Especially if it is someone close to you.
So I guess that is why I have been in a funk lately. I can see the silver lining in the clouds and know that this is just a temporary thing.
Life is good and I have a great deal to be thankful for. I am going to put forth an effort to "connect" with my younger brother. We have always been really close. Here lately, however, He and I have drifted apart a bit. I think its time we become close again. When I came "out" I pushed him away out of fear of judgment. Not right on my part but I am looking forward to getting things back to the way they should be.
Until Next Time...
Sunday, September 10, 2006
AAHHHH...MY LIFE!
Well, here it is Sunday afternoon...And I am bored. I have gone shopping already. Bought things I didn't need. So much for "Retail Therapy"!!! Yes, I am a shopaholic! It generally gets me out of a funk...Not so much today. I guess its the crappy weather that's going on here. Yesterday was rain, all day! That is never a good thing. Of course the fact that everyone of my "guy" friends are starting new relationships doesn't help either. I am NOT a bitter person, I want everyone to find their true love. But I got to tell you...If I hear one more story about how cute or what a great kisser or he does this thing with...BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! I really am happy for them but come on! Enough already! I try to focus on the great life that I have. I am blessed. My health is good. I have a nice place to live. A car that I love to drive around in (of course it would be nice if the rain would stop so that I could put the top down!)
Anyway.
I hadn't "blogged" in a while and I just thought I would get everyone up to date on the things that are going on.
Life is good. Work is getting back to normal. The trip to Tennessee was a good relief to the "day to day" that a job can become. My parents are off on their 2 week vacation/cruise to Alaska. I am so happy for them. Its about time that they do something just for them and one that doesn't involve grandkids. I am soooo happy for them.
I guess I will end this now. I could go on for along time writing things that are not really relevant...But I will stop! I will blog again in a couple of days.
Take care everyone...Until Next Time!
Well, here it is Sunday afternoon...And I am bored. I have gone shopping already. Bought things I didn't need. So much for "Retail Therapy"!!! Yes, I am a shopaholic! It generally gets me out of a funk...Not so much today. I guess its the crappy weather that's going on here. Yesterday was rain, all day! That is never a good thing. Of course the fact that everyone of my "guy" friends are starting new relationships doesn't help either. I am NOT a bitter person, I want everyone to find their true love. But I got to tell you...If I hear one more story about how cute or what a great kisser or he does this thing with...BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! I really am happy for them but come on! Enough already! I try to focus on the great life that I have. I am blessed. My health is good. I have a nice place to live. A car that I love to drive around in (of course it would be nice if the rain would stop so that I could put the top down!)
Anyway.
I hadn't "blogged" in a while and I just thought I would get everyone up to date on the things that are going on.
Life is good. Work is getting back to normal. The trip to Tennessee was a good relief to the "day to day" that a job can become. My parents are off on their 2 week vacation/cruise to Alaska. I am so happy for them. Its about time that they do something just for them and one that doesn't involve grandkids. I am soooo happy for them.
I guess I will end this now. I could go on for along time writing things that are not really relevant...But I will stop! I will blog again in a couple of days.
Take care everyone...Until Next Time!
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Reason, Season, or Lifetime...
OK, So I read recently that friendships fall in one of the three categories. Reason, Season, or Lifetime. We have all had friendships that fall into each of these categories. When I read this it got me to thinking...Which can be scary.
ANYWAY...
I started to think about one of my dearest friendships. One that I have been apart of for nearly 15 years. We are both gay men and actually came out to one another 6 1/2 years ago. A lot has changed in our lives and we have always managed to remain friends through some very hard times. We both grew up in very religious households and struggled greatly with our own acceptance. I say all of this because here lately I feel like our friendship is coming to the end of its season. This saddens me very much because I thought this guy and I would be friends for a lifetime. It seems that the two of us have gone in different directions and its becoming more and more strange and odd when we are around each other. This is a friend that I have a great deal of history with and its just sad to see it go like this.
Yes, I have had friendships over the years that ended and it was a sad time...But none like this. Its just strange to grow into the person that you are meant to be and to have a someone not be able to deal. I will say though, that when He & I became friends a while back I was much more of a doormat, and generally built my life around trying to make his happy. Well, that has all since changed. I no longer drop everything that I am doing to do what He says. I don't rearrange my schedule to accommodate His and I no longer will put up with His BS and have little patients for his "I know what's best for you" attitude. I will give the guy a little credit...When he isn't being crazy and controlling the guy has an amazing heart and will give you the shirt off his back if you need it bad enough. Well, all that seems to be changing now.
I no longer live to please him and now the shoes seems to be on the other foot. He has a boyfriend and in the beginning he made the mistake (like so many others) of forgetting everyone else in His life. Well, now he keeps getting put out that I don't drop everything in my schedule to hang out and its starting to piss me off. He has started applying the "silent" treatment to get his way and its just not going to work. The whole thing makes me mad because I had always been there for him and now he is making it difficult to remain friends with this new attitude. IM not saying I am perfect, far from it; I just don't have the patience anymore. There is more to me now and I think its intimidating for him. I do not want to be the person that drops everything, and this is starting to piss him off.
I guess I say all of this to really just state how sad it is when a friendship is drawing to an end and there is really no solution or "banded" for the problem. Growth can be a tough time and the lesson learned, if you are paying attention, can be invaluable. Its just sad that this growth can cause a friendship (that you thought was for a lifetime) to come to and end and only be meant for a season.
I am not going to have some difficult talk with him and end things...We have talked many times about this...But I am unwilling to go back to the person that he sees me as and frankly I deserve more respect then that. I will continue to pray for him and I only want love, peace, happiness, and joy for him like I am sure he wants for me. Its just sad that when you finish a chapter in your "book" and realize one of the main characters will no longer be playing a major role. I guess this yet another stage of growth in life that I must embrace and try to look for the lesson so that all of this will not have been done in vain.
Until Next Time...
OK, So I read recently that friendships fall in one of the three categories. Reason, Season, or Lifetime. We have all had friendships that fall into each of these categories. When I read this it got me to thinking...Which can be scary.
ANYWAY...
I started to think about one of my dearest friendships. One that I have been apart of for nearly 15 years. We are both gay men and actually came out to one another 6 1/2 years ago. A lot has changed in our lives and we have always managed to remain friends through some very hard times. We both grew up in very religious households and struggled greatly with our own acceptance. I say all of this because here lately I feel like our friendship is coming to the end of its season. This saddens me very much because I thought this guy and I would be friends for a lifetime. It seems that the two of us have gone in different directions and its becoming more and more strange and odd when we are around each other. This is a friend that I have a great deal of history with and its just sad to see it go like this.
Yes, I have had friendships over the years that ended and it was a sad time...But none like this. Its just strange to grow into the person that you are meant to be and to have a someone not be able to deal. I will say though, that when He & I became friends a while back I was much more of a doormat, and generally built my life around trying to make his happy. Well, that has all since changed. I no longer drop everything that I am doing to do what He says. I don't rearrange my schedule to accommodate His and I no longer will put up with His BS and have little patients for his "I know what's best for you" attitude. I will give the guy a little credit...When he isn't being crazy and controlling the guy has an amazing heart and will give you the shirt off his back if you need it bad enough. Well, all that seems to be changing now.
I no longer live to please him and now the shoes seems to be on the other foot. He has a boyfriend and in the beginning he made the mistake (like so many others) of forgetting everyone else in His life. Well, now he keeps getting put out that I don't drop everything in my schedule to hang out and its starting to piss me off. He has started applying the "silent" treatment to get his way and its just not going to work. The whole thing makes me mad because I had always been there for him and now he is making it difficult to remain friends with this new attitude. IM not saying I am perfect, far from it; I just don't have the patience anymore. There is more to me now and I think its intimidating for him. I do not want to be the person that drops everything, and this is starting to piss him off.
I guess I say all of this to really just state how sad it is when a friendship is drawing to an end and there is really no solution or "banded" for the problem. Growth can be a tough time and the lesson learned, if you are paying attention, can be invaluable. Its just sad that this growth can cause a friendship (that you thought was for a lifetime) to come to and end and only be meant for a season.
I am not going to have some difficult talk with him and end things...We have talked many times about this...But I am unwilling to go back to the person that he sees me as and frankly I deserve more respect then that. I will continue to pray for him and I only want love, peace, happiness, and joy for him like I am sure he wants for me. Its just sad that when you finish a chapter in your "book" and realize one of the main characters will no longer be playing a major role. I guess this yet another stage of growth in life that I must embrace and try to look for the lesson so that all of this will not have been done in vain.
Until Next Time...
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