JADED???

Ok, I am not sure if there is just SO much "stuff" coming at our senses all of the time or if I am becoming "jaded".
My mom told me yesterday that my cousin admitted to being addicted to cocaine. Honestly, I was a little surprised. Not shocked, surprised. She has always been a little wild and lived a more dangerous lifestyle than the rest of our family. But when my mom asked me what I thought...I don't know...I didn't really feel anything.

My cousin and I have really gone our separate ways over the years and even though we live in the same city I haven't seen her in over 4 years. We used to be real close. I was actually the first person that she came "out" to. Naturally, at the time I had no idea how to handle the news. I think I even told her it was wrong. Of course, that is my "southern Baptist" upbringing...Now I just want to tell its all ok.

She and I have never talked about the whole "Gay" thing and I don't even think that she knew until we all evacuated for the hurricane last year. We never got to talk then because I was sick with a head cold and spent the whole time in bed sleeping. Go figure!

I just think that the world has really left me a little insensitive about many things. And, frankly it scares me. People in my immediate circle think that I have the biggest heart. I would agree with them. But if you are not in my "world" I don't really have a lot of compassion. Does all of this make me narcissistic? Shallow? Heartless? To be honest, I am not sure. I certainly hope not. I would hope that I am a "lover" not a "fighter"

Things do effect me. I feel things very deeply. I am just not sure why this whole thing about my cousin isn't really bothering me. I just don't know.

Until Next Time...