REGRET...


Well, I had a golden opportunity today to "take the bull by the horns" so to speak, and I chickened out. I am very disappointed in myself. Actually, truth be told, I had two chances today but missed them both.

Lets start with the least important one...The guy from Friday. I had to goto the market on Friday for fresh flowers for an event we were having at work. Well, while I was at the market I had noticed an attractive guy to my left in a doctors coat. He was very cute and a little younger than me...I guess. As it turns out, I guess he thought I was attractive too because He started to cruise me in line. I am always amazed when guys cruise me...Not sure why, just am. Don't get me wrong, I am an attractive guy. Pretty handsome, if I do say so myself (FYI. I am laughing as I type this). Anyway. The guy ended up leaving and I thought that was the end of that. Well...I saw him again today! Same coat and he was walking in front of the window that I was changing out. He all but stopped to look at me and his friend called his name and it snapped him back to reality. What sealed the deal was that he stopped at the front doors to look for me and he smiled and walked away when our eyes met again. Now. If I was smart I would have walked out the door and introduced myself or, at the very least, walked and stood behind the counter where he would have seen me and maybe walked in himself. Opportunity...GONE!!! Not the end of the world. But disappointing, none the less!

The second chance that I missed today...Which was far more regretful was with Roy. Roy is a guy that I knew before I came out of the closet 7 years ago. I had the biggest crush on him and my manhood would often just spring to life when he entered the room. Of course, it would be nice if I gave you the complete story on Roy...He was my Music Minister at the church I had been attending. He always had a way about him that just made me weak. Of course when I came out...Changed churches...My time admiring Roy came to an end. Well not to be a "gossippy-hen"...There has been rumors that Roy actually was fired from the church because He was hiding a secrete. That of him being gay. YES! I know its all hear-say. But the source was very reliable and I do not doubt the validity of the story. OK...Back to the present! I saw Roy today! In line at Starbucks!!! I got an erection just at the sight of Him. He is very handsome and I can not believe that I...Yes, I just kept on walking. Didn't even say Hello! In my mind I had rationalized it by saying that it had been over 5 years since our last conversation. But I realize now that THAT is a POOR EXCUSE!!! He looked soooooo good. His blond hair had darkened and it was becoming grey at the temples. Very sexy! He was also sporting a goatee. Even more sexy. Even as I type this my heart is racing and there is a stirring in my boxers!
Well, I have never been so mad at myself. I let this chance pass me by. Granted (rationalization) he WAS with someone. Some older lady...NOT his wife! Good grief! I am sounding like a school girl! I just had to get this off my chest. It was a very dismal day today. My doctor coat boy and the crush of all crushes, ROY, came into my life today and I let them go...OOOHHHHHHH the shame!

Until Next Time...